My Theory of Gravitation

The following essay was written from a somewhat tongue-in cheek viewpoint. It started out as a humor piece, but the more I got into it the more serious it became. I began with an absurd premise, and proceeded to follow it to its logical conclusion. Although I did not actually believe in the theory, the further I went the more evidence and logic I found to support it. At the end, I almost had myself believing in it. Please regard this as an exercise in logic. Who knows, it may even turn out to be true. Bart